A growth mindset allows you to believe that challenges can be overcome as skills are developed and learned. A fixed mindset allows you to think that your skills and intelligence are fixed. What do you think? Does hard work and dedication really allow you to be successful? Which one are you?
I grew up with goals of "I need to get the All A's award" to be successful. I needed that praise and validation to feel intelligent. If I didn't get something right away I would give up because I thought I was too stupid to get it. Too behind. It wasn't until I was a teacher myself telling my students it was alright that they couldn't read that book yet because they would by the end of the year.
This fixed mindset really made my life more difficult and I became fearful of school instead of seeing a subject as something I could improve in, get better at, and enjoy I because afraid. It was a mindset that was holding me back. I was wasting my life and my time feeling like a failure. School would make my stomach hurt and tests would make my head spin. The anxiety followed me throughout my career in school and made me constantly unhappy and stressed.
I picked things I knew I would be good at and successful in. Never something out of my comfort zone that would challenge me. That will always be something I regret. I vowed never to put any pressure on my own kids when it came to school. It took me a long time to build up my confidence in academia and even longer to convince myself I wasn't stupid and failure wasn't a death sentence. Now I feel like I've slowly made it there. I am not afraid to say I don't understand or ask questions. I am not afraid to try something new and try again if I fail. I am not afraid to ask someone to show me how.
Our minds are constantly assessing situations. "Well If I couldn't get that then I must be dumb", " I am never gonna be as good as that person", "I am going to lose that game too so I might as well sit out". Well, can you do anything to change the situation? Can you work harder? Study smarter? Be kinder? Try again? Don't you think there is a reason we learn grammar year after year in school? Or try the mathematic skill again from someone else? It's because not very many people become experts after the first time they learn it. We need 18+ years of practice and decades in our fields to become good at our skill.
If you've experienced these struggles it's not too late to give it another shot. It doesn't matter how old you are when you realize it's time for a change.
Watch the first one by Carol Dweck (<<--link p="">
...and read this. I would recommend it to anyone and maybe feel it should be mandatory reading in school!
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